Jag Shag

Today I read a book called Jag Shag. It was about cozy feet versus crumb trappage.

Keep Right Keep Right Keep Right Keep Right

Today I read a book called Keep Right Keep Right Keep Right Keep Right. It was a book about concern for safety and for local ordinance.

Harried Dump

Today I saw a movie called Harried Dump. It was about a man who was too busy to be pulling on some lever all the time.

Kippers and Bacon and Marmalade

Today I read a book called Kippers and Bacon and Marmalade. It was total filth.

eXistenZ

Today I saw a movie called eXistenZ. It had a very neat bone-gun that shot teeth. My favorite part was when people tried to order the special.

Whose Time, Whose Dime?

Today I saw a movie called Whose Time, Whose Dime? It was a satire, I believe. I kept waiting for it to be over, but it just kept starting right over again from the beginning.

Don't Smirk at the Witness

Today I read a book called Don't Smirk at the Witness. It was a very tedious book. It was about a man who thought he could make whatever facial expressions he wanted.

Motorcycle Formation

Today I read a book called Motorcycle Formation. It was a really quick read. I read it so fast I almost died.

Red Pip on the Floor, Part Two

Today I finally got around to seeing Red Pip on the Floor, Part Two. It was pretty exciting. More exciting than the first one, even.

Marwencol

Today I saw a movie called Marwencol. It was a war movie. My favorite part was when the doll made a doll.

Journey to the Stars

Today I saw a movie called Journey to the Stars. It was bulbous and informative. I learned how much a hippopotamus weighs.

Female Anatomy Without Secrets

Today I read a book called Female Anatomy Without Secrets. It was a disappointing book. I think it was still holding back some secrets.

Red Pip on the Floor, Part One

Today I saw a movie called Red Pip on the Floor, Part One. It was a pretty good movie. I think I'll go see Part Two tomorrow.

The Warren Commission Report

Today I read a book called The Warren Commission Report. My favorite parts were the mystery of the chicken bones and when Ruby "professed ability to handle the physical fights which arose in connection with the clubs" and when he "bought a great quantity of cold cuts."

We Have Shut Off The Boiler For Emergency Repairs

Today I read a book called We Have Shut Off The Boiler For Emergency Repairs. This is a very upsetting book. I hope it has a happy ending.